Carry the Burden
by Ghost
Summary: Ranma is plagued by nightmares, in which his girlside Ranko haunts him. Perhaps it is time he faced the part of himself that he never wanted? Will he find peace? Or does it end in tragedy?


Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma, Ranko or anything affiliated to them.

Author's Note: Drama? Since when does Ghost write _Drama?_ Well, I didn't really know what else to call this, so Drama will have to due.

Just a word of warning, this is a _very _strange story, and it would probably never happen to Ranma. I don't think he's completly out of character, though, but then again I was never good at telling. Anyway, I got this idea in my head and just had to write it down. So here it is, for better or for worse. I hope you will enjoy it. ^_~

For the sake of simplicity, I shall refer to Ranma as "he", no matter which sex he has for the moment.

Acknowledgement: Great thanks goes to The Drunkard Kid (aka The Human Ranma-Database ^_^) for helping me clear out a few details. (Drunkard also helped me with "Face the Challenge", but in my exaltation to get it finished I forgot to mention him. Shame on me!)

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Carry the Burden

A Ghost Story™

It all started after the attempted wedding. 

Ranma was getting more and more irritable, especially when female. Whenever splashed with cold water, he would not rest until he had found hot water and changed back, as if he found his female form disturbing, or even repulsive. 

He spoke rarely and trained in solitude. When his father woke him up for the habitual morning training, Ranma quickly dispatched him into the koi-pond without as much as a word. Whenever Shampoo, Ukyo or Kodachi came at him, he gave them a stern look and a cold shoulder that even they could not ignore. Mousse, Ryoga, Kuno and all other would-be challengers found that Ranma was no longer in the mood of fooling around with them, and each decided that a long training trip would be a good idea. Once the bones healed, anyway. Hiroshi and Daisuke were still in hiding after a little experiment involving a bucket of cold water.

His bad mood even effected his appetite. He ate less then he usually did, and without his trademark gusto. Not even his mother seemed to be able to cheer him up. It was as if he was loosing his will to live.

This was all very disturbing. Everyone in the Tendo household was worried and especially Akane, even though she tried to hide it. Akane would never have thought that she would actually miss the obnoxious baka who was always insulting her, but this new, grim Ranma was scaring her. They hadn't even had a decent fight in days, since Ranma hardly spoke to her if it could be avoided. She didn't know the true reason of Ranma's behaviour, but she could see the hurt in his eyes. Something was causing him pain.

One night, precisely three weeks after the wedding and after an effortless attempt to get some homework done, Akane finally decided that enough was enough. She sat up from her bed with a determined face.

"I want my baka back," she stated quietly and left her room to find Ranma.

Ranma was in the bathroom, staring into his reflection. He studied his face, his hair, and his eyes. He gently lifted his left hand and touched the mirror. His fingers left a couple of imprints on the glass that quicly faded. Sighing, he turned one the water in the sink and quickly splashed his face. He kept his eyes closed, but he could feel the transformation. His mass decreasing, his body refigurating, his balance shifting. He knew perfectly well what he would see in the mirror, even though it pained him greatly. 

Finally he resigned to the inevitable and opened his eyes. He saw a girl. A pretty girl with red hair. Not him. Not Ranma. 

He lowered his gaze and looked at his hands. Smaller then his own. Finer, with gentle fingers. They were callused after years of training and battle, but still nice hands. Not his own, though.

"Who are you?" he whispered. He raised his eyes once again, and looked the redhead straight in the eyes. "You're not me."

The girl's face was hard as stone and filled with anger, but a single tear ran down her cheek. For some reason, this infuriated Ranma.

"You're not me!"

__

Crash!

Pain.

Ranma stared at his hand. Without thinking, he had smashed in straight into the mirror, shattering it in a thousand pieces. His hand had also made an impressive imprint on the wall behind the mirror.

A gasp made him turn around. Akane stood at the door, staring at him. He saw the quiet shock in her yes. Shock and pity.

"Ranma," she said, quietly. "What's happening to you."

"How long…" he began.

"Long enough." She approached him, looking him in the eyes. It wasn't hard. In this form, he was slightly shorter then her. "Ranma, we're all worried about you. Please, tell me what it is that's hurting you this much."

"It's nothin'," Ranma shook his head. "Just allot to think about."

"So that's why you're smashing mirrors and acting like some sociopath?" Akane asked with a frown. "Please, Ranma, we can all see that something is eating you. You're going to get a nervous breakdown if you keep this up. Now please tell me what's wrong!"

"Non of your business!" Ranma turned his back to her. "I can handle this myself."

"Hmpf!" Akane indignantly crossed her arms over her chest. "Fine! Be that way!" She turned around and headed for the door. "But just so that you know, there are people here who actually give a damn about you and we just want to help you!" She threw him once last angered look. "Think about that, Ranma!"

She turned the knob and opened the door to leave.

"A-Akane."

She stopped and looked at him. He was staring into nothingness, as if he was lost in his own thoughts. 

"Yes?" she answered.

"I… I dream about her," he said, barely audibly. 

"Who?"

__

"Her!" He made a vague gesture at his female body. "She… she comes to me in my sleep. Haunts me."

Akane took a few steps closer and reached out for him. "You mean… Ranko?"

Ranma leaned against the wall and ran his hand across his now fiery red locks. "She's always angry at me, but I don't understand why. She follows me and whatever I do I can't shake her!" He sighed deeply. "Hell, I haven't slept well for days!"

"But didn't you tell me that you'd gotten used to the transformations?" Akane asked. "At Jusenkyo, after you fought Saffron. Remember?"

"I don't know," Ranma said and shook his head. "I-I though so. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe it was what happened to Jusenkyo, or maybe what that idiot Happosai did at the wedding. I dunno."

Akane didn't really know what to say to comfort him. She gently placed a hand on his shoulder. "Look, try to get some sleep tonight. Tomorrow we'll talk with Dr Tofu about this. Or maybe Colonge has some Amazon cure for bad dreams? Whatever we do, we'll get you through this, Ranma."

"Thanks, Akane," Ranma said. He sighed again and headed for the door. "I appreciate it."

Akane watched him leave. She didn't even think of the fact that he didn't change back to his male form until later.

Actually, sleep came quickly to the exhausted Ranma. Within just a few minutes he was fast asleep. But with sleep came the dreams.

Ranma found himself in his male form, surrounded by shadows and fog. A pale moon shone down from above. He squinted his eyes to get them used to the dim light. There was something very unsettling about it all.

The fog lightened and shapes came in view. Long, thin shapes, hundreds of them.

Realisation struck Ranma as he understood what the shapes were. He knew where he was.

Jusenkyo.

__

"Ranma!"

The voice echoed throughout the valley, filling his heart with dread.

"No…" he whispered.

A lithe figure flew though the night, quiet as a breeze, and landed on one of the bamboo poles with inhuman grace and balance. The dim light cast her face in shadows and gave her hair the same colour as dried blood.

"You!" Ranma whispered.

"Ranma! So you've come back to the scene of crime!" Ranko growled. "You've come back to haunt me once again?"

"What are you talking about?" Ranma said, nervously backing off. "_You're_ the one haunting me!"

"Lies!" Ranko cried and leaped at him.

Ranma felt another wave of desperation rush over him. The many years of martial arts training vanished from his mind and he turned around to flee in panic.

"Come back here!" she cried out after him. It only added to his terror, as he ran for his life into the night. Inside his head a chorus of voices were chanting: _Must flee! Must Run! Must Hide!_

He fled without looking back. The scenery rushed past him in, ever changing until the only thing he could se was a blur. He stumbled, jumped, leaped and climbed. Anything to get away from her.

"You can't escape me, Ranma!" Ranko called out behind him. "I am always right behind you!"

Suddenly he stumbled on something and fell hard to the ground. He desperately struggled to get up. The voices cried in his head.

__

Must flee! Must Run! Must Hide!

But suddenly he became aware of something else. There was one small voice behind those cries. One small piece of Ranma's true nature that would not be suppressed, even in his dreams. And for the first time since the dreams started, he heard it clearly.

__

This is wrong! Ranma Saotome does not flee!

Ranma repeated this to himself. It felt right, and filled him with new strength. 

__

Must flee! Must Run! Must Hide!

"No!" Ranma said and stood up again. "Time to end this once and for all!" Resolutely, he turned around to face his fears. "You hear that, Ranko? It's time we settle this!"

Ranko materialised herself from the shadows in front of him. "Oh, so you've finally grown a backbone? Great, I've been waiting for this for a long time!"

The both took battle positions. Ranko shot him a superior grin. "Nice place for a battle you picked, by the way. Brings back allot of memories, doesn't it"

Ranma had yet to give any though to their surroundings, but when he took a good look around he understood what she meant.

They where standing on a high mountain, on a large, round cliff surrounded by smaller cliff-formations. Behind two distant peaks dawn was breaking, shedding light on the distinctly Chinese landscape.

The two challengers eyed each other, searching each other for a potential weakness. Suddenly they both exploded forward, dashing towards each other in a mutual attack. Ranko's fist connected with Ranma's jaw. His foot met her abdomen, knocking her off balance. It didn't last for long, though, and he was forced to take a defensive position to avoid her lighting-fast kicks and punches. They traded blows for a while and then broke off.

"Why?" Ranma yelled. "Tell me why, goddammit! Why do you hate me?"

"Because you never accepted me!" Ranko screamed, her fury burning in her eyes. "You never saw me as anything but a burden to carry around! You've tried to find a way to destroy me ever since I was forced into your miserable life! Well let me tell you, I'm sick of it!" 

She attacked him again with increased frenzy. Ranma realised that neither of them was holding back now. It would be a fight to the death.

Ranma cursed as Ranko scored hit after hit. Her speed was superior to his only by a small marginal, but it was still enough for him to be hard pressed to block her attacks. His superior endurance and stamina soaked up much of the impacts, though, and he was pretty sure she felt his blows more then he did hers. Still, she fought with all her heart and he knew that if he did not do the same, he had already lost this fight.

Ranko attempted a kick to his face, but he dropped and tripped her with a legsweep. He underestimated her speed once again, though, and got both her feet in his face. He was unbalanced for a short moment and she seized her opportunity, planting a hard kick at his chest. He flew several feet and smashed into a cliff. Ranko laughed and cartwheeled away from him, creating an opening between them. As he stood up she gave him a challenging look, daring him to make the next move. Her eyes displayed an intensity that was almost willing him to loose.

Ranma's only response was firing up his battle aura. Channelling his ki, he summoned it to his hands. _"Mouko Takibasha!"_

The fireball flew straight for Ranko, but the redhead simply held her hand up. The ki-sphere disintegrated in a small explosion against her palm. Ranma blinked. That wasn't supposed to happen.

"Not so confident anymore, are we?" Ranko said with a laugh.

Ranma fought to stay calm and think this through. Ki-tricks would be useless, and the Hiryuu Shouten Ha would never work on her as both of them could use the Soul of Ice. But he did seem to have the physical edge, after all, so if he could just keep her in hand-to-hand and not let her speed overwhelm him he should be able to win. He decided to change battlefields and ran towards her, only to jump high into the air.

Ranko reacted almost immediately and leapt after him. Aerial fighting was the speciality of the Saotome-school, after all. However, Ranma knew that he could jump higher then her due to his strength. He quickly gained the upper hand as they traded punches and kicks both on the way up and down. Finally a hard downward kick found its target and struck Ranko out of balance. She slammed into the stony ground hard as Ranma landed softly. It had cost him, though. He was getting tired, and now sported a set of new bruises.

"Why don't you just give up?" he asked. "You can't beat me! You're just a bad copy of me!"

Amazingly enough, Ranko got up again with an expression of grim determination on her face. She was obviously in pain, but didn't show it. 

"No! I don't care what it takes, I will win this fight! You've already caused me too much suffering, Ranma Saotome!" she hissed.

"Look who's talking!" Ranma sneered. "You're responsible for half of all the misery in my life! Don't come whining to me about suffering!"

"Shut up!" Ranko shouted and lunged at him. "What the hell do _you _know about _my_ pain!"

Somehow her rage must have given her a boost of strength. She fought with the ferocity of a tiger, and Ranma felt his own strength drain away gradually. 

__

"Shooting Star Kick!" 

The kick sent Ranma flying backwards, towards the edge of the cliffside. As he got up, he saw Ranko storm towards him with her fist raised in one final, deciding blow. It was now or never. He had to finish this fight now!

She had lost some of her speed. It was a risky manoeuvre, but Ranma decided to put it all on one card. When her fist shot out towards him, he managed to dodge and grab her arm. Then he fell backwards, put his feet on her stomach and pushed her over himself.

Ranko gave up a surprised yelp as she was sent flying over the edge, off the mountain.

Ranma lay still, his heart beating furiously. He had won. He had defeated her. But why did he then feel so hollow?

He grunted and got to his feet. Driven by morbid curiosity, he glanced over the edge.

Ranko was clinging to the cliffside, holding on to a protruding cliff-formation. She was obviously too fatigued to jump up again. Ranma could understand this; his own arms and legs felt like led and he was aching all over. He couldn't determine if they had been fighting for hours or just minutes, but he was more tired then he had ever been in his entire life. He felt both physically and emotionally spent.

"Ugh!" Ranko grunted, trying to improve her grip. "Ranma, you bastard! When I get up from here…"

Ranma said nothing. He just turned away.

"Ranma! Don't you dare turn your back at me!

Ranma shook his head and started walking away. It had to end now, one way or another. 

"Ranma?" suddenly her voice sounded less angry, almost concerned. "Hey, y-you ain't leaving me here, are you?"

Ranma ignored her. It had to end.

"Ranma!" Ranko cried. "Ranma, h-help me! I'm… I'm slipping!"

Ranma kept going, pretending not to hear her. It was for the best. She shouldn't even exist.

"Ranma, please! I-I'm sorry!"

He stopped and looked back at the edge of the cliff. She sounded so alone and desperate now. So… _helpless!_ Should he just leave her to die?

"Ranma! Please help me! Don't let me die! Please, don't let me die!"

He hesitated, listening to her pleading. Did he really want her to die? She had been a part of him for so long. Could he really just go on without her?

"Ranma!"

What if he had been… wrong?

__

"Ranma! Please!"

With a guttural growl Ranma dashed back to the edge of the cliff, threw himself flat on the ground and reached down his arm. "Ranko! Take my hand!"

"I… I can't!" she cried. Tears were trailing down from her eyes. 

"Yes you can, dammit!" Ranma shouted. "Take my hand and I'll pull you up!"

Hesitating for only a moment, she let go with one hand and reached up towards him. Their fingertips touched. Ranko's other hand began to slip. Ranma reached down even further. 

Their hands touched again. 

She lost her grip.

"Got ya!" Ranma cried, his hand clasping hers, holding it firmly. Her eyes sparked with hope as well as tears as he pulled her to safety. They collapsed to the ground. She immediately put her arms around his chest, hugging him tightly. "Y-you came b-back for me!" she stuttered weakly.

"I-I'm sorry," he said. "I almost made a terrible mistake."

She leaned her head into his shoulder and cried softly. Ranma felt wetness on his own cheeks and realised that he was crying as well, but it didn't matter. Leaning towards the cliff, he brought his right hand to her hair and stroked it gently.

For the longest time, they just lay there, holding each other tightly and crying. It was actually strangely relieving.

Finally, Ranko looked up from his soaked shoulder, eyes still red from her crying but with a faint smile on her lips. "I-I'm sorry for everything."

Ranma shook his head. "No, _I'm_ sorry. You were right, I shouldn't have seen you as just a burden to carry around. I just didn't understand how important you are to me."

"I'm not!" she said bitterly and looked the other way. "All I've ever done is screwing up your life."

"Hey, my life was screwed up long before you came along, and you've had your good moments," Ranma laughed and gently placed his hand under her chin, turning her head back to face him. "We've had some real fun together, haven't we?"

"Yeah, I guess we have," Ranko laughed and leaned her head towards his chest with a content sigh. "I guess we've both been behaving kinda stupid lately, huh? Friends?"

"Friends," Ranma nodded. 

Ranko smiled and pulled him in for another hug. "Thanks, Ranma. I'll try not be a burden from now on."

"I don't mind carrying you," Ranma said. "Not anymore."

"Maybe we can carry each other, then?" Ranko asked and smiled. The sunlight gave her hair a warm glow. Then the smile faded. "Seems like it's time to go."

"I don't want to leave you yet," Ranma mumbled. There was so much he wanted to talk to her about, so much to ask her.

"Silly," she chuckled. "We're never apart, remember?"

And then she placed a soft kiss on his forehead. Everything faded to white.

Sunlight in his eyes.

Ranma blinked. The fuzziness of sleep slowly started to disapperate inside his head. He took a while to saviour the feel of his skin against the sheets, the feeling of being neither cold nor warm. He felt completely and thoroughly rested. Apparently his father had allowed him to sleep in this morning, probably due to the interesting thing Ranma had done to his shoulder the last time.

As he lay there, the dream began to come back to him. He reached his hand to his face and rubbed his eyes, finding dried tears.

He smiled. At last he was at peace. His soul was in balance once again.

Yawning, he sat up in the bed. His stomach growled.

"Breakfast," he said as-a-matter-of-factly. He stood up and tried to find his clothes. That was when he happened to look into the mirror on his wall. The pretty redheaded girl from last night was there once again, dressed in a tank top and boxers. She was smiling warmly at him.

Mesmerised by the sight he reached out and put his fingers at the mirror-glass, looking into her beautiful blue eyes.

"Good morning," he said quietly. Then he wrapped his arms around his female chest and gave himself a big hug, falling back into the bed. "Mmmmmmm!" he murmured in delight. Everything felt right again.

There was a soft knock on his door. It opened and Akane stepped inside. "Ranma? Are you awake?"

Ranma immediately jumped up from his bed and embraced her. "Good morning Akane!"

"Eh, good morning Ranma," Akane said, genuinely surprised. Hugs were nothing Ranma would usually partake in, not to mention initiate. "My, you're in a good mood today. I take it Ranko didn't show up this night?"

Ranma let her go and smiled with his entire face. "Actually, she did."

Akane frowned. "But, how come you're… if she…"

"Let's just say… we made up," Ranma said mysteriously.

"Well, I'm glad you're back to your old self again," Akane said. "And I hope you've got your appetite back as well, 'cause Kasumi's made a huge breakfast and we're all waiting for you."

"Great, I'm starving! Let me just get my clothes on," Ranma said and pulled on his shirt and pants. "And after breakfast, how'd ya like to do a little sparring?"

"Sparring?" Akane looked dumbfounded. "With you?"

"What? You've got other plans?"

"No! No! It's just that… well, you never…"

"There's a first time for everything. So, how about it?"

Akane didn't know what to believe. It was as if he had changed completely over-night. A confused smile found it's way to her lips. "Okay!"

"Great!" Ranma said. "Race ya down!"

Laughing the two youths ran down to stairs to their waiting families. And Ranma knew life would be better from there on, because he no longer carried the burden that was himself.


End file.
